Quick housekeeping- I’ve decided to move my newsletters and longer-form writing back to Substack. I’m beyond excited to begin posting regular long-form content for free like today’s newsletter here, as well as develop special series here on Substack for paid subscribers.
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Now- On Navigating the Spaces In-between
‘I’m scared that I’ve not only reached my peak in my business, but I’m past it’ she whispered towards the end of our first session together.
After unleashing every hardship, challenge & uphill climb the last year had been even in the midst of another successful year in her business, the secret fear flew out of her mouth as the realization dawned on her of what was truly weighing on her soul.
Everything on the surface of her decade-old business looked healthy- maybe not as big revenue-wise as previous years, but still profitable, still rocking- yet she was feeling burnt out and found herself oscillating between wanting to rev up the engines to go full blast again and burning it all down just for some sweet relief from the internal pain.
No matter your age, once you’ve been ‘at it’- your job, your business, your passions, your relationships- for any length of time, there will come times of not necessarily ebbs, but rather spaces in-between.
When the flow seems to shift to a trickle, the moving forward seems harder, the momentum slows or at times- reverses. And the temptation to set it all on overdrive to correct the feeling or burn it all to the ground & run away start to do a dance within your soul.
To the outside, it often doesn’t look like failure or a big crash or even be something that others would notice in how you are walking in the world or performing in your roles.
But internally it can feel like the peak has passed and it’s all downhill from here- because you can’t yet see the next peak on the other side.
When we are in it, we are in it- and I know each of you have experienced your own versions of this over the years. Whether with your career or your business or your relationships or in your body- or maybe all of them seemingly all at once.
And so the feelings of failure. The feelings of passed your prime. The feelings of ‘is it time to give up and find something new’ begin to creep into your awareness.
And sometimes yes- it is an indicator of finding something new. But often that new is the next-level version of yourself that’s begging to come through.
I don’t know anyone truly successful in their craft who hasn’t experienced one of these eras.
Yet few openly talk about it.
It’s become almost in-fashion to speak of the big crashes and epic burn-to-the-ground phases that lead to the phoenix-like-rising-eras as they make for the epic comeback stories that look sexy on Instagram and sound prolific on podcasts & Ted Talks.
But the dips and ebbs and internal questionings and secret fears that creep in even when things are going well, but maybe not so great as we’d like them to?
Not so sexy. But can be just as epic when we allow their magic to transform us.
There is a magic in the in-between when you get the opportunity to ask deep down inside what you really want, what your motivations truly are, and to then move forward- finding your fierce again along the way.
Confession time: this was my own experience last year.
For over a decade I had been in the flow of year-over-year growth in business & in my own self-development. Even through rough seasons and the pandemic shutdowns that impacted my husband’s ability to work, my own blossoming in my soul and my business seemed to be a given year over year.
Then my dad passed away 2.5 years ago.
I bought a one-way ticket on a redeye to New Jersey but by the time I arrived the next morning, he was already on life-support. I spent almost a month there with only the clothes from the carry-on bag I brought, thinking it would be a quick trip.
The night he passed away, it felt like a Holy Fire had been lit in me to serve others more deeply in the realms of physical & mental health as it was a heart attack that took him from us way too early.
But on the other hand, I needed time & space to grieve. My own heart was broken & Fierce Ones you know- when we love big, we grieve big.
So I tended to my world & shared freely online from my wide open heart & still trained for- and completed- the multi-day ultra event of the Dopey Challenge in Disney World that he had been so excited to see me race. Training began the day I arrived back in California and I credit that training and the looooooong miles with getting me through the deepest depths of grief.
Want to move the emotions out of your body? Move your body. More on that another day.
But I also let that raging Holy Fire to serve BIG bank to a small flame for a spell as I stopped focusing on growth & disconnected from much of the marketing trends & online coaching space as I gave myself space.
An intentional ebb to focus on my heart & my family & those already in my space to find my fierce again after my world was shaken.
Then a year ago I felt ready to let that Holy Fire burst on the scene & grow again. You know the feeling- the rumbling in the soul and whisper of the heart of ‘it’s time’.
So I launched a new website a year ago this week. I started this Substack quietly {but never fully went all in}, I joined a marketing program & Instagram memberships & had a brand audit with a current ‘it girl’ coach & a new photoshoot & joined a Mastermind with said coach & bought the microphone and and and…
I was IN on getting the flow well- you know- flowing BIG again.
But I kept starting & stopping myself. As you know-a LOT changed online while I wasn’t looking. Even if you don’t have a business online, you know that the past 2+ years the landscape looks radically different.
As I explored my growth edges, I simultaneously felt mortified at the new marketing trends, triggered by-well- a lot, like a fish out of water in a now over-saturated industry, like an old dog learning new tricks (ummm hello Reels & video) & secretly asking myself-
Am I actually just past my peak?
Am I too old for this now?
How can being in my purpose suddenly feel so HARD?
So I sat in the fires of discomfort.
I spoke with other coaches who have been at it for a long time who were feeling the same.
I bathed myself in the flames of rage.
I allowed myself to mourn who I had been before.
I experienced a deeper layer of The Heroine’s Odyssey, The Hero’s Journey, the deep dive into the soul that all fairy tales teach us to do.
And then…
Once upon a time, a woman decided to throw out all the rules, listen to her heart, honor her body & heed the rumblings of her soul to do life and business her own way… and found her fierce in the process.
The End.
But actually… it’s only the beginning.
Here’s the gold in still moving forward even if it feels like you’ve passed the peak & feel stuck in an in-between {even when it feels more like an end}:
It’s where you can double down on your Faith
It doesn’t matter what your beliefs or religion or thoughts on God or Goddess or Universe, having Faith and conviction in not only a higher power but also YOURSELF is key in moving through any times of difficulty. When you feel like the best is behind you and can’t see how things could ever possibly be better or as good as they once were again, Faith that there IS something better on the other side is the secret weapon to pull you through.
And doubling down on it, almost to a point where you might feel slightly delusional and your conscious brain thinks you might be just a little bit crazy for believing that something better must exist on the other side of this in-between?
That’s the sweet spot Fierce Ones.
It’s where you remember who you ARE- not who you compare yourself to- even your past self
Ok real talk- it’s natural as human beings to compare ourselves to others. Add in the rise of the internet, more people working deeply on themselves and being open about, seeing more people being not only unapologetic about their successes and blasting them from the rooftops (not to mention using their numbers as marketing strategies) and you have the perfect storm of conditions to create a comparison trap that might feel impossible to get out of.
This is when you take back the reins and maybe pull back a little from consuming other people’s wins until you feel super grounded in yourself first- then you can go out and celebrate the hell out of every one else, because celebrating the abundance of others compounds the abundance on it’s way to you too {more on that coming soon}.
But the same goes for comparing yourself to past versions of yourself.
We all have that time of life we look back fondly on and say ‘damn, I had it figured out then’. It might not have been perfect, but elements of it had you feeling on top of the world- and the human tendency is to want to go back to that place when we are in an in-between or ebb or valley.
But when you come back to the here and now and celebrate who you are in the present, you can remember that even though that time looks like the peak, it can get even better this time around.
It’s where you learn to not only listen to your body, but trust her wisdom
One of my personal mottos is that Success is a Somatic Experience- and I will be writing about this a lot more in the coming months.
But the essence is this: the more you are tapped into the nuances of what your body needs, what she is telling you, and then trusting her so deeply that you act in accordance with her, the more you have the chance to feel truly successful in your endeavors.
More to come on this soon ;)
It’s where you can use your body movement practices to explore your edges and go to The Well on a regular basis to find the answers
One of my core beliefs is to consciously do Hard Things on a regular basis, because when we forge ourselves in the fires of our choosing, we know how to handle it when the fires of life come raging on in.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it forever more: long-distance running has saved my life. I always saw it as training for life in the midst of a tendency towards anxiety & depression to keep the swings at bay, but I didn’t really understand the full power of it until life really hit hard.
Having a commitment to get me outside every day when I really didn’t want to helped my heart heal by the power of nature.
But just as importantly, having something where I have the opportunity to dig deep, go past my edges of comfort, and dip into The Well of my Power on a weekly basis is the regular reminder I need that no matter what might feel impossible in the moment, we are more powerful than our brain likes to convince us of.
When you let your body shock and awe you of what she is capable of, a magic happens when we cross the threshold- and maybe even get a glimpse of God.
Don’t believe me? Go spectate a marathon, especially the finish line. Or talk to someone after their 20 mile peak training run. Or someone who ran a 5k for the first time when they never thought they could ever do such a thing.
You can see that touched-by-God look in their eyes and the belief that anything truly is possible- even if it hurts along the way.
The feeling of overcoming your own personal impossible within your body helps train your mind to overcome your own personal impossible in life situations. Period.
It’s where we claim our Worthiness beyond money or metrics or growth
This one is a tough one, because our egos looooooooove to create stories about our numbers- be it salary or net worth or debt or follower count or list size or body size or weight or running pace or lifting PR’s….. I think you get the point.
But remembering you are innately worthy no matter what the numbers say may be more important now than ever before.
And it’s where we see that the peak never existed in the first place- it was simply a stop over before the next RISE⚡️
You can choose to accept where you are at now as defeat, or you can take your Power back and choose to dream again into your next levels of evolution.
Things might not look exactly like your last peak, but they are never supposed to. Because there is always the Miracle possible on the other side.
If today’s piece stirred anything in you and you are looking to speak with me 1:1, my initial consult session- the POWER Session- is open for booking. This is the first step in working with me within any of my 1:1 programs and as a Substack subscriber, you can get $50 off your POWER session with the
Code: substack
Already worked with me before or know you want to enroll in a program? I’ve recently redesigned all of my 1:1 programs and I’m offering 10% off ANY 1:1 program (yes- even my VIP level) until March 17th to Substack subscribers.
Code: SUBSTACK
Note: This code only works for the Pay-In-Full options. If you wish to enroll with the discount for monthly payments, please email me at jen@jenblackstock.com to get set up.
These concepts are just the tip of the iceberg on what Finding Fierce is all about, and I’m so thrilled to be back here on Substack sharing my deeper writing and very soon, sharing my podcast of the same name with you as well.
There is a lot more coming your way both with a free subscription which will include longer thought pieces like this, and special series to be included for those who upgrade to Paid.
In journeying to your next peak,
Love this.